Dating a retarded person

I mean, the idea is to trick the moms Because chicks want guys that wear tight pants and tattered clothing and spit blood It's just two men sharing the night It might seem wrong but it's just right It's just two men sharing each other It's just two men like lovin' brothers One on top and one on bottom One inside and one is out One is screamin'. He's so happy The other's screamin' a passionate shout It's the Night Man They're feeling so wrong and right, man They're feeling so wrong and right, man I can't fight you, man when you come inside me And pin me down with your strong hands And I become the Night The passionate passionate Night Man We need a new front man.

Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person

You want someone with a good voice It's a song Charlie wrote. Always Sunny episodes ranked. Share this Rating Title: Use the HTML below. You must be a registered user to use the IMDb rating plugin. User Polls The A. Edit Cast Episode credited cast: Charlie Kelly Glenn Howerton Dennis Reynolds Rob McElhenney Dee Reynolds Danny DeVito Frank Reynolds Kyle Davis Lil' Kevin Rest of cast listed alphabetically: Lil Kev's Mother Nick Toren Getting her defensive is no way to discuss your concerns with her.

I know that this goes against the grain, but I find myself agreeing with you. I'm not sure of any way to intervene that wouldn't really get your sister totally hopping mad at you. But, you should at least be honest, and let her know somehow that you disapprove, and why.

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She should know that you're not willing to have him sit at the table with you for family gatherings. I don't have any good answers. Even with more facts, I don't know that I could afford you a sound strategy for dealing with this. The only thing that comes to mind is that sometimes, developmental disability is hereditary, and if she has kids with this guy, they could be in for a lifetime of convalescent care for not being able to feed themselves. That's a worst-case scenario, of course. I feel for you. If your SIL is as you say - emotionally and developmentally stunted, not too bright regardless of her education , then it's probably not exploitative or unethical to be dating a mildly retarded man.

If she were intellectually normal - or at least close to it - I would be as horrified as you are. It's impossible to say without knowing both parties very well, and I don't think you'll find a definitive answer in this thread.


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Where the heck did that come from? You're getting a lot of crap for this, and perhaps you could have used more sensitive wording; however, it's perfectly valid for you to have problems with it. Someone who is developmentally disabled is often thought to have the emotional status comparable to that of a child. Ethically and socially, it is completely unacceptable for an adult to engage in a romantic relationship with a child.

I think this is probably where a lot of your initial repulsion is coming from. But that doesn't that their relationship is unhealthy. As it is, it doesn't sound like you have enough information to make the call on whether or not the relationship is unhealthy. So I'd advise you to get to know the guy and approach the situation with an open mind before damning it.

Read through enough relationshipfilter questions around here and you'll see that lots and lots of allegedly neurotypical people have the emotional age of year-olds—they lie, they sneak around, they make unreasonable demands of those around them, etc. My wife and I are working on her teaching her to develop life goals, encourage her to make friends, encouraging her to seek therapy, and so in Does she actually want this?

Is she seeking out your help, or is she putting up with it because it's less trouble than rocking the boat?

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I agree with other folks that it's really not your business, and interfering will likely only push her in the direction you don't want her to go. Nth the idea that you would be getting different answers if the genders were reversed. I think some of the answers you are getting are a bit daft given the 'immediately started referring to her as 'my girlfriend'' part crossed with 'ultimate goal of marriage'; this relationship does seem inappropriate at best. This is what you need to be concerned with.

I worked in a group home until recently yay layoffs! Nice Boy lived in a group home and was, in fact, very nice. He worked at Walmart as a greeter and was friendly to everyone he met. They hit it off. It was cute and she seemed a little special herself, so the staff didn't say much. Both were warned about appropriate behavior and agreed to limits i. No closed doors, Don't touch anywhere a bathing suit would cover etc.

One day Nice Boys parents came to visit from out of town. This was a surprise visit for Nice Boy,as it was near his birthday. Nice Boy was still legally a minor. Then they were calling the cops. And Sweet Girl was arrested for inappropriate conduct with a minor. Sweet Girl is no longer allowed to attend church, or her nephews Little League, or the Library because she is a registered Child Sex Offender. I know it sounds a little scare tactic-ish. But please, warn her to become informed about his legal status. My brother married someone who could be classified as mildly developmentally-disabled, as she generally functions on the level of a 13 or year-old and spent all of her school years in special-ed programs.

Brother is relatively normal and quite intelligent though he has poor self esteem and is prone to depression. However, they seem quite happy together, and have no children but a lot of pets - which they dote on adoringly. Truthfully, dealing with sister-in-law can be VERY frustrating to my mom and myself and brother too , but he accepts her limitations for what they are.

And well, he loves her. And that's got to be enough for the rest of us. Turns out he's just a white rapper who lives with his mom.

To be more serious though, my uncle was severely mentally retarded and he had his share of "girlfriends". Although, I'm pretty sure none of those relationships involved anything sexual. Of course he was not able to hold a job or do many things for himself, like shave or buy his own clothes. My uncle was also emotionally stunted and was prone to tantrums and outbursts you might expect from a young child.

It sounds like the guy your sister-in-law AKA Sweet Dee wants to date isn't even close to my uncle's level of mental handicap. In fact, being a "nice" guy with a job puts him ahead of many men and women I know. I think the ethical concern that separates someone who has mental development problems from other disabilities is when they have the equivalent mental age, like my uncle, of a young child. Like with a child, most people would object to someone engaging in an adult, sexual and romantic relationship with someone who is 10 years old mentally and emotionally.

That doesn't sound like the case with this guy. Man, I miss my uncle. He was a pain in the ass and we I was too young to fully understand why. I should have been nicer to him. He died about ten years ago, from kidney failure I think. Damn, now I made myself sad. I second palliser and vincele here; as a person who has often been lumped in with people who have developmental issues, I can understand where your concern comes from. There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you are right now, but neither is there enough here to clearly judge whether there IS an unhealthy dynamic.

What I might consider, taking shots in the dark, is that she simply may feel comfortable with this man: So is that the type of reaction you wanted? Cuz I don't think you're going to get it. If your sister is happy, and he's happy Think of all the asshole chick punchers, mental and psychological abusers As for him inviting her to hang out with his friends on their first date She can be pretty confident that she isn't the "other woman" in his life.

I was once at a bar where two guys and a girl were sitting at a table. One of the dudes was loud, obnoxious, and kept calling people on the phone to tell them what he's doing at the moment "hanging out with my girlfriend". I couldn't help myself so I turned to group and said "I think the bar prefers if you take your phone call outside". He obliged and went outside. The remaining dude turned to me and said "This is my sister, 'Jane', that dude you sent outside is her date I think the dude your sister-in-law picked is better than the typical LA douchebag I encountered.

Tell her I said "Congratulations on finding a sweet guy who makes you happy. The problem is not that he's bad for her; the problem is that he may not be able to give informed consent because he is or might be mentally retarded. By "caregivers," do you mean his family, or group home staff?

03x09 - Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person

If it's the latter, they probably don't have much say. My husband has been group home staff for DD adults for close to 15 years, and last night he said something about usually carrying a lighter for one of his clients' cigarettes. I said something about being surprised that the clients can smoke, and he said that program staff really have no say in the matter. Some of his clients drink alcohol as well and I think there'd been one issue a few years back with a client using drugs , but there's not much that can be done about that either--legally, they are adults and those are their choices to make.

I suspect that your sister's friend can date anyone he wants regardless of his housing status. Family might be a whole 'nother ball of wax--but again, since we're talking about someone who is of legal age despite diminished capacity, there may not be a whole lot they could specifically DO, even if they weren't particularly thrilled by the idea. It seems to me that there is only one question here: If yes, then trust them.

They have much more experience and probably training in this than you do, and they know the guy better than you do.

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If no, there are much bigger problems that need to be solved than this dating issue. Like the fact that this guy isn't getting proper care. Question, for those who know more than I - how does the state or whoever determine ability to give informed consent in the mentally handicapped? I have an uncle who has lived in a group home since his 20s schizophrenia and, while he's usually pretty doped up, I don't think of him as someone who can't understand consequences or make decisions.

It's certainly not my area of expertise, though. And I stand by my opinion that it's sure as shit not the brother-in-law's place to be making this judgement call, although if it is an issue he could certainly bring it up with the woman in question. Schizophrenia is not a permanent state, so it wouldn't be analogous.

What exactly needs to be "cured"? She lives with her parents, doesn't drive and doesn't seem to socialize much. Living a sheltered life is not a disease. She goes to church and she has a job that requires her to interact with people, maybe she's happy with that level of socialization. Unless there's a lot more to the situation that you haven't mentioned, it sounds like Sister isn't somehow living up to some set of standards you and your wife feel are necessary for a happy lifestyle.

As far as her boyfriend goes, it doesn't sound like anything untoward is going on. Developmentally disabled people need love and companionship, too, and perhaps Sister feels comfortable with him and has interests in common with him. My only word of caution would be to make sure she knows about birth control; it's easy for a little kissing and snuggling to quickly progress to serious canoodling.

Plenty of people still have minimum-wage jobs at age 30, so don't judge him for that. Also, plenty of people -- secluded, coddled, retarded, disabled -- have sexual and romantic urges that they would like to follow up on. Is that what might be disturbing you? My sister-in-law has a host of mental health issues as well as probably some developmental delays.

She lived in a group home for a while, where she had a relationship with a much older man who had suffered a stroke that destroyed his long-term memory. He was severely disabled by this, but they had a loving relationship that included regular sex my mother-in-law's only concern was that contraception was used, which it was. While this may not have looked like a particularly "normal" relationship, both parties clearly adored each other, although going out for frozen yogurt dates, renting a movie, or ordering pizza were about all they could do together unsupervised.

Sounds like this guy is doing a lot better than that, if he's working. And he's sweet to your sister-in-law, so why not just let the situation evolve by itself? Also, you wrote "His two best friends have Down's syndrome. Maybe you don't know any adults with Down syndrome, but you don't need to be scared or dismissive of them.

No one has stated that being friends with those who are afflicted with Down's syndrome is terrible. However, if your two best friends in the whole world have Down's syndrome, it would be very unlikely that you would be intellectually or developmentally "normal.